Understanding Your Relationships

This article is the beginning of a long series on relationships. Astrology is such a great tool for understanding others in a more comprehensive way. Whether it is a primary love relationship, a family relationship, a work-related relationship, or even a relationship with a company or an established institution like a university, astrology can shed light on where there is ease and harmony and where there are difficulties in the dynamics between the two of you.

General Observations

Over long years of observing my own patterns of relationship and the patterns of family, friends, and clients, I have come to this conclusion: there is no perfect ‘star match’ based on another’s horoscope and how their energies blend with your own. Why? Only you determine who you love, and it is love that transcends everything else. If you love someone whose basic energy pattern creates huge challenges for you, it may be that you need to learn important lessons in love and this is how you’ve chosen to do so. Who would I be to judge that? Astrology, however, can show you objectively just where the hurdles are and how they might even be resolved. The real work of loving is always up to you.

If you met someone with birth energies that so perfectly and harmoniously matched your own, would you necessarily ‘fall in love’? I’m afraid the answer is no, you might not, nor would the other person. A ‘perfect match’ does not guarantee that you feel true love. What a pity! Is this why they say that love is blind? There seem to be no easy answers here. In cultures where parents arranged for the marriage of their children at an early age, astrologers were often consulted to determine whether the two would harmonize. This would hopefully secure a happier marriage between two souls who were not allowed to freely determine for themselves who their life mate would be. Have any long-term studies been conducted to see whether or not these methods of partner selection worked according to plan? I myself am not aware of any. That’s a good question for a vedic astrologer perhaps.

In the western world where I practice astrology based on a tropical zodiac and humanistic values, which give more weight to an individual’s free will, astrology becomes a kind of guidebook towards understanding your affinities and differences with others as you pick and choose the right partner. Is this a better system? I can’t really answer that because I have not experienced the other path, at least not in this life.

Attraction Versus Deep Love

Can attraction lead to a true, deep love? I believe it can. It certainly did in my own life. I literally met my husband,of 37 years, way back in 1967 on a parking lot as I was strolling by. It was the proverbial ‘star-crossed lovers’ meeting. I was a newly divorced woman looking for excitement in the big city. I wasn’t looking for a partner particularly. He was engaged to be married to someone else. He certainly shouldn’t have needed to be looking for anyone. But there you have it. Here in the west we could allow destiny to play itself out without the societal restrictions of bygone times or any other type of hierarchical class system. Yes, there were plenty of hurdles to overcome, but we were essentially free agents to self-determine how this great love of ours would unfold through these many long years.

I fell deeply in love before I knew anything at all about astrology. You’ll smile to hear this: he was engaged to an astrologer. I thought it was a bunch of malarkey. A few years later, right after we married, he got me to go to an astrologer. I was blown away by this man’s insights into my life. I immediately bought some books and started studying. Then one night he brought home a flyer advertising a basic astrology course taught at The Mystic Eye in North Beach, San Francisco. I took the course, got hooked, and have been studying ever since. So this love affair with my husband is also about a love affair with astrology.

Relationships Through the Lens of Astrology

Astrology can unravel some of the mysteries of relationships in a most profound way. There are many methods to do this, but in my next article I will start with the basics. These basic elementals are simply Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. Start thinking about yourself and others in terms of these essential ingredients. Each of the 12 signs in the zodiac is comprised of one of these elements. It’s simple to just start with Aries which is a Fire sign, and then go around the wheel. Fire moves to Earth, Earth moves to Air, and Air moves to Water. Then we start over again. There are three signs in each element. You will need to determine how much of each element you have in your own natal make-up. I’ll be giving you a way to calculate that. Are you a Fire type, or a Water type? Is Earth more predominant or Air in your nature? This will be your first step towards a greater understanding of yourself in all of your relationships with others. I’ll be exploring this and other essentials with you in my next article in this series.